(This is Part 4 of a series. Go back to Part 3.)
Basically, empowering questions boil down to three kinds:
1. Appreciation questions
2. General Outcome questions
3. Specific Outcome questions
The first, most important kind are Appreciation questions, which direct our attention to areas of life that we appreciate. First on the list is, as noted before:
What do I appreciate about my life?
In the same vein are general questions about various aspects of life and reality, some examples of which are:
What do I appreciate about my health?
What do I appreciate about my love life?
What do I appreciate about my family/friends?
What do I appreciate about my work/business?
What do I appreciate about my abundance?
What do I appreciate about this world?
What do I appreciate about reality-as-it-is?
Variations of these questions are also good, for example:
What am I grateful for?
If you encounter resistance in yourself or can't find anything, try asking a "could" question:
What could I appreciate if I wanted to?
What could I give thanks for if I wanted to?
All of the questions above involve some form of noticing the gifts that we already have. This is key, because the vibration of appreciation is so sublime and powerful that it's transformative to dwell there as much as possible. The principle involved is this:
The more we appreciate what we already have, the more we get to appreciate.
In my opinion, appreciation is the most important attitude that we can cultivate, since it has such a profound effect on everything else. So for example, upon waking up in the morning I begin by asking Appreciation questions, and only after spending a few minutes with those do I pass on to the other two kinds of questions.
Notice, too, the importance of allowing ourselves to feel appreciative about what we already have in some area
even if we feel it's meagre. This is quite essential. So for example, even if we're very concerned about money (for that matter, especially if we're concerned about money), we can begin by asking:
What do I appreciate about my abundance?
Now here's the funny thing: When we focus in on the abundance we already have, we tend to get more of it
even though we're less and less concerned with getting more of it.
In other words, we first take a look at the abundance
that already exists. When we begin to look deeply we find that we are already abundant, in fact immeasurably so.
Then, as a kind of side benefit, the realization of this fact tends to lead to more abundance. Feeling grateful about the abundance that already exists in our lives tends to lead to even more abundance to feel grateful for. Like attracts like. (It's also an example of the principle, discussed in
Strategic applications, of building on small successes.)
Or let's say we have an illness. Paradoxically, we might start by asking ourselves questions like these:
What do I appreciate about my health?
What about my health situation am I grateful for?
What's really great about my current health situation?
As another example, if we're lacking a romantic partner and would like one, we might begin by first appreciating what romantic life we do have.
For instance, a friend called the other day and lamented his "lack of a love life." And then he talked about this pretty woman he'd seen riding a bike that day, and how just the sight of her with her hair flowing in the breeze had been so enchanting.
What he suddenly realized was that moments like that
are his romantic life right now, and he could start by being grateful for that moment and others like it. In the realm of gratitude, we begin from wherever we are.
Then, after asking Appreciation questions, I move on to the second kind of question, General Outcomes:
(This is the end of Part 4. Go to Part 5.)
—jim sloman, 8.5.03 for 2.23.04
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