The basic principle for getting what we want—for what it's worth—is this:
Act as you would act
if you already had what you want.
An example: Suppose you were starting on a new business venture or a new calling and you were already immensely successful. You had many successful ventures already, hundreds of millions in net worth, whatever. Now how would you act in that
You'd probably act with great courage, though without being foolhardy. Because you'd have little to lose, you'd act with courage: If the venture didn't succeed, so what? Because of that very insouciance, you'd bring a quality of boldness and optimism and bravery to the venture—thus greatly increasing the likelihood of its success.
By emulating that quality now, you can greatly increase the probabilites of success in whatever your new venture might be, no matter what your circumstances.
In effect, you would be acting as Dorothea Brande recommended in her famous maxim: Act as if it were impossible to fail.
We act as we would act if we already possessed it, whatever it is.
Another example: Suppose you would like to find a romantic soulmate. In applying the principle, we picture ourselves as we would be if we were in such a relationship already. How would we be?
Imagine yourself walking down the street and you're totally in love. You and your "twinflame," as the saying goes, have already discovered each other and fallen in love. You feel uplifted, serene, playful, joyous walking down that street, interacting with the world. In all your interactions with other people you'd be light and playful, with that feeling of being in love bubbling inside.
Of course, as many people have discovered, when you're already in love you tend to be incredibly attractive to others. Of course; you're suffused with light-heartedness and good will.
If we're seeking a mate we can be that way now. By being light and playful with the opposite sex (or whatever sex attracts us), we'll be much more attractive and greatly increase the odds of attracting that special someone. There are no guarantees in this life, but the probabilities greatly increase.
Again, we're acting as we would act if we already had whatever it is we would like.
Suppose you'd like to eat a healthier diet? Ask: How would you be eating if you were already healthy? Chances are you'd be eating close to nature—a low-fat, low-salt, low-sugar diet high in fresh fruits and vegetables and low in processing, refinement and additives—as the healthiest peoples in the world do. Of course, we can adopt such a diet now, greatly increasing the probability that our body can take our health to a higher level.
Suppose what we want is more general? Suppose we'd just like to be happy?
In that case, ask yourself what you'd be like if you were already happy. How would you act? How would you be?
I think you'll find that if you were already happy you would naturally take your attention off of yourself—including asking how you can be happy—and put your attention on other people. If you were already happy, your attention would no longer be self-absorbed, self-directed. Why bother if you've already reached the goal of all that?
Instead, if you were already happy, you'd be interested in serving others however you could, in whatever ways you could find. Now that you have what you wanted, your attention would naturally go out to other people. You'd ask yourself how you could be good to others in whatever situation you found yourself.
By doing that now—paradoxically, by taking the attention off of yourself and putting it on the happiness of others you yourself would become more happy. Isn't that strange?
I swear, the universe seems to run on paradox. When we put our attention on the happiness of others, our own happiness increases. This universe is strange and wonderful indeed—majestic in its humility, light in its darkness, playful in its sadness, heartful in its suffering.
Act as you would act
if you already had what you want.
—jim sloman, 11/17/02 for 12/28/02
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