(This is Part 14 of a continuing series. Go back to Pt 13.)
8. The Principle of Affirming
There was a time in my life when I thought affirmations were nonsense. Positive thinking, rah-rah-rah, bunch of bullshit. Boy, was I wrong. Good affirmations are central, powerful, vital. Let's examine why:
Picture yourself in the jungle five million years ago, let's say at a watering hole. On your right you see a very attractive potential mate, beckoning to you. On your left you spot a hungry tiger advancing towards you. Which are you going to focus on?
Of course on the tiger, because it represents an immediate threat to survival. In other words, the mind has naturally evolved to put the problem before the opportunity, since we wouldn't be here otherwise. But in modern life, this means that the mind naturally tends to stay focused on "what's wrong," on "negativity."
The late Ken Keyes, Jr. called this the Mosquito Theory. If we're in a room with 1000 mosquitos and we kill 997 of them, the mind focuses on the three that are left.
This tendency to focus on the "negative" in life can lead to a downward spiral, where it becomes habitual to process negative thoughts and thus feel sharply or vaguely dissatisfied with life. On the other hand, when we consciously focus on praising, affirming and listening, an upward spiral can begin.
We don't have to eliminate negative thoughts; we simply focus our attention on thoughts that are more illuminating and/or productive, and over time they, and the state of mind that they embody, become our new habitual mode.
There are several guidelines to good affirmations:
a) A good affirmation is in present tense. The deeper parts of the brain, embodying subconscious thinking, feeling and goal-direction, are not directly connected with the senses and therefore have no direct contact with external reality. Thus imagination and reality are treated the same.
So if we put an affirmation in the future, the subconscious interprets this as something that will always happen in the future and will never be happening now.
With some affirmations we can feel that they're just nonsense because they're so far from our reality. But don't be concerned that the affirmation is expressing something that is not currently in your reality. Just keep on in faith.
You're creating the internal reality first. First comes the internal reality and then it shows up, reflects itself, in external reality. The inner is senior to the outer.
b) A good affirmation is positive. Since what we focus on expands, when we dwell on what we don't like we get more of it, both internally and externally, which is inharmonious. When we dwell on what we like we get more of that, which is harmonious.
A negative affirmation conjures up an image in the subconcious of the very thing we don't want and tends to bring it about. It's much more productive to substitute a positive affirmation. Thus instead of saying, "My (health problem) goes away," we can say, "I enjoy wonderful health and vitality."
c) A good affirmation begins at the end. That is, it focuses on what we really want, which is the end-result, rather than on the means to get there. The universe has many doors through which things can arrive.
Thus instead of saying, "I want Bill to not leave me," we can focus on what we really want, which might be something like, "i have a wonderful and fulfilling relationship with my husband." And our husband might turn out to be Bill or someone else.
d) A good affirmation is do-able. If our affirmation is "I fly to Jupiter every night" or "I win the lottery," most likely we'll just end up diluting our focus on affirmations that are more life-affirming, such as "I love every moment of my beautiful life" or "I love my well-paying job that makes a positive contribution."
e) A good affirmation is non-coercive. That is, it does not attempt to manipulate another. To do so is to cut us off from the very energy of heaven that we're attempting to reveal in our consciousness.
Each person's way is the true way for them; it is their sacred path in life. It is not for us to try to impose our way upon another, because only they can truly know what their path should be.
So instead of saying "Rebecca changes her ways" we can say what we truly want: I have beautiful and harmonious relationships with my co-workers. And those relationships will turn out to be in your current situation or some other. Instead of saying "IBM hires me," we can say I work in a wonderful job for wonderful pay.
There are two basic kinds of affirmations, general and specific. Examples of general ones might be:
I love every aspect of reality,
I enjoy wonderfully satisfying work,
I have a wonderful and harmonious family.
I am happy, healthy and successful, etc.
Specific affirmations are addressed to specific problems. For instance, if we're having insomnia we might say, I enjoy deep and restful sleep every night. If we're feeling that our life is meaningless we might say, My life fulfills a deep and meaningful purpose.
The idea is to allow our new tone to gradually fill our consciousness. But this process is not obsessive. We simply review our list a few times upon arising and a few times upon retiring and several times during the day in spare moments.
And of course our process will be whatever it is; we can trust it. There's no need to judge it, just as there's no need for a child to judge its constantly falling down while learning to walk.
In a sense we are all praying all the time, because the thoughts and emotions habitually filling consciousness
are our true prayers to the infinite. And God is always answering our prayers too, since reality always provides increasing evidence of whatever perception we have of it.
We don't have to beseech the Infinite any more than we have to beseech the sun to shine. Indeed, prayers do not change the Absolute at all; It is unchangeable. Rather, our prayers, our affirmations, our habitual state of mind change us—and that brings about everything else. It is God answering our prayers.
It is the nature of the sun to shine. It is in the nature of Reality to shower Its inherent warmth and divine mystery upon us when we appreciate its beauty, affirm the truth of its goodness and listen to its inner, silent melody.
(This is the end of Part 14. Go to Part 15.)
—jim sloman, 12.31.03 for Jul 31
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