(This is Part 22 of a series. Go back to Part 21.)
An Italian jouralist named Riccardo Orizio has interviewed a series of former brutal dictators, and published his results. He says that all of them, without exception, describe themselves as "idealists." Maybe an idealist ready to commit any crime in order to pursue his ideal, but an idealist nonetheless.
And that's where the fatal error arises. When we cling tightly to an "ideal" and insist that it's super-important, it is only a small step to the adoption of the idea that the end justifies the means. And once the end-justifies-the-means idea is adopted, incredible mischief and tragedy can result.
But the process of pursuing the end at the cost of any means leads to an unexpected result. As I suggested in
Handbook For Humans and suggest again here,
The means we use to achieve our end
is the real end we achieve.
In other words, the actual end that we achieve in any process is the means that we use to get there. If the U.S. damages its civil liberties, circumvents the Constitution, acts arrogantly abroad, denies the Geneva convention for prisoners, breaks treaties, sanctions pre-emptive strikes, okays first use of nuclear weapons and so on in its "war against terrorism," these are the real results being achieved even though the supposed end-result may be greater "security" or "freedom."
As said before, reality is a gigantic mirror. If we break treaties, other nations are encouraged to do the same. If we bulk up our military budget, other countries will too. If we resume testing nuclear weapons—as we now propose to do—other countries will follow suit. The world could easily get in a downward spiral of militarism and authoritarianism, with predictable results.
Since reality is a mirror, the basic principle for dealing with any antagonistic situation is to increase the positivity slightly. It can be as simply as finding something that you can admire about them and saying so. It may take several attempts, but this will be followed in due time by a more positive gesture from the other side, and the situation can often spiral upward.
For instance, how should we deal with the North Koreans? It may sound naive to say so, but we should say something nice about them. Basically, North Korea wants a deal: oil and food and guarantees of security in exchange for letting go of its nuclear bargaining chip. But right now egos on both sides seem to be getting in the way of this essentially simple and good deal.
The impasse can be broken if we increase the positivity slightly. When the other side eventually responds, then we can increase the positivity slightly some more. Then the upward spiral begins.
This same principle of increasing the positivity slightly can be used in personal relationships, in relationships between groups and relationships between nations.
Will it always work? Of course not. Nothing always works, and other means may now and then be needed. But this principle gives by far the best probability of rescuing a tense or antagonistic situation, and is always the first one to apply. It's simply using the principle of positive feedback in the context of knowing that reality is always and essentially a mirror to us, reflecting back to us who we are and what we're putting out into the world.
And in dealing with any situation whatever, and using the principle that the means is the real end that we achieve, we can examine what means we are using in the situation.
As we increase the positivity of the means that we're using, we're already achieving a more positive end. And not coincidentally, given the mirror-like nature of the universe, our desired outcome also tends to come into view more often and more abundantly, since means and ends reflect each other.
Look at Gandhi or Martin Luther King, Jr. By stressing the use of only positive means, they not only achieved the desired end-result, but set an example for the whole world.
What a difference a little light can make! Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, know that your attempts to bring more light, to use more positive means, do indeed make a difference. Lighting a candle, bringing even a little light to a hard situation, can potentially be so much more powerful and transformative than "fighting darkness."
(This is the end of Part 22. Go to Part 23.)
—jim sloman, 2.14.03 for 6.18.03
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