In my understanding, depression means that a gap has opened up between how things actually are and how we think they should be. That in turn arises from a misperception of who or what is in control of things. Or to put it another way, we could say that despair arises when there is a lessening of trust in existence.
This lessening of trust occurs when we think that we're in charge, that we're the "doer," and that we're not doing our life or whatever well enough.
But perhaps the actual reality is that it's all "being done." Consider: Are you beating your heart right now? If so, will it to stop. If you cut your finger, it heals automatically. You don't have to tell it to do so.
Maybe, in spite of appearances, everything whatsoever is like this—all on automatic, all "being done." Yes, there is the subjective experience of making choices, but maybe that's the appearance, the surface of things rather than the reality.
In church or elsewhere we've sometimes given lip-service to the notion that "God is One." But suppose it were actually true? What would that mean?
It would mean that there's actually only One energy, One force, One organism, and that nothing whatever is excluded or outside of That. If this is so, then we're meeting God everywhere, in everything and everybody—and in all situations, even the ones that seem most pessimistic or desperate.
And it would mean that that One energy, that One thing is running the show, all of it. And if the All is really running the whole show, what is there to be concerned about?
On the outside, we might still do whatever we do—work on the environment, say, or be the best mother we know how to be. But inside, there would be this profound let-go as we begin to understand that we're not the doer, and actually, not even a separate existence. (A subject for another time.)
Let's remember what Jesus said. His comment was that, "Not a sparrow falls but by the will of the All." As we surrender to this inner truth, our trust in existence rises dramatically. We still do whatever we do, but having let go inside of how it's all supposed to turn out.
In the Bhagavad Gita the soldier Arjuna is concerned about a battle the next day in which some of his relatives and friends will be on the other side. And he asks Krishna, who represents the Eternal, what he should do.
And Krishna says approximately this: "Play the role assigned to you by life to the best of your ability. But leave the outcome to Me."
To put it another way, we're simply the instruments through which the One plays Its flute. We do whatever we do, we make our "choices," yet all the while knowing that the Melody is singing through us, as us. And we can rejoice in playing "our" little part in the cosmic song, whatever the appearance may be.
—jim sloman, summer 2000 for May 6
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