(This is Part 10 of a series. Go back to Part 9.)
It's worth noting that, in asking questions, we never want to ask questions that involve someone else changing or being different, such as: How can I get Jane to change? or How can I get my boss to give me a raise?"
Such questions infringe on the freedom of someone else and therefore cut off the very energy and vibration that you're trying to access. In situations where you want something to change involving you and another, try asking questions that don't mention them, for instance:
How can I get a raise? or even better
How can I have a well-paying job that I love?
Note that these questions don't presuppose that your new raise must come from your current boss. Who knows, it could come through some other channel entirely, such as a new job or some other department of the company. We don't want to limit the doors through which the universe can respond to us.
Or let's say that you're in love with Mary and she's ending the relationship. Instead of asking yourself How can I get Mary back? ask yourself a question about what you really want, one that doesn't limit Mary's freedom or your own but that addresses the real issue...
How can I manifest a really great soulmate romance? or
How can I be with the man/woman of my dreams?
...and so on. Legitimate questions that we could ask about Mary that-just-left-us (questions that won't cut us off from the energy) would be any sort of Appreciation questions...
How can I appreciate Mary more? or simply
What do I appreciate about Mary? or even
How can I let go of Mary and be her friend as-she-is?
Notice that none of the questions above involve Mary changing or being different; they're about ourselves.
If you're feeling very stressed about your current circumstances, I would suggest starting with this question:
How could I appreciate my current life-situation if I wanted to?"
...and then progress to...
How can I create the life I'd like to have?
Naturally, in asking questions of any kind it's wise to let go of the outcome:
Remember the story of Krishna and Arjuna in The Bhagavad Gita? Arjuna is a great warrior who is facing battle next day, but he has a dilemma: Some of his friends and relatives are on the opposing side. What should he do?
Fortunately, Arjuna has Krishna—the God of All—in the chariot with him. So he asks Krishna about it. And in so many words, here is Krishna's reply:
"Play the role assigned to you by fate to the best of your ability, and leave the outcome to me."
Finally, for those of us who like to boil everything down to rock bottom, that is, those of us hard-core types who would like to focus on just one question, I would suggest the following:
How can I be really happy, appreciate reality as-it-is, and nurture the happiness of the world?
(This is the end of Part 10. Go to Part 11.)
—jim sloman, 8.18.03 for 5.7.04
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