When I first got my cat Nicky—he just walked in one day—he was quite damaged. He'd been mistreated by whoever owned him before, and did not trust human beings at all. If a human being got within about four feet of him, he'd whirl around, face you, put his paws up—claws extended—and hiss. Quite a reception!
Over the years he's mellowed a bit. Now I can pick him up in my arms and he starts purring. It's this very loud purr—p-u-u-r-r-r-r-r!
It's very interesting to notice my reaction inside when he does that. I just want to do anything I can for him. I feel even closer to him if that's possible.
Conversely, once in a great while he'll do a soft hiss—a residue from the old days. I notice that my reaction then is to put him down and go about my business.
Something about his purring seems to create an automatic reaction in me to take care of him and feel close to him. And conversely, if he hisses I want to leave him alone.
I think those two behaviors, purring and hissing, are a pretty good summation of human behavior too. To everything that happens to us, we either purr or hiss.
The thing to notice is that those two behaviors, purring or hissing, usually elicit wildly different responses from the environment.
When you purr in response to whatever happens to you, not only are you back in tune with the universe—translation: you feel good—but the universe tends to respond much differently too.
This can be applied to even our most difficult situations. In fact, it is especially helpful to apply it there.
What is human purring? It is understanding and appreciation. It is safe to say that no human dispute is ever harmoniously resolved without showing some understanding of the other party.
Showing our understanding of the other, of their problems and issues and concerns, is our purring. And it tends to elicit a tremendous response from the other of wanting to understand us too, of being concerned about our problems and issues.
Conversely, when we criticise and denegrate and condemn, we are hissing. And—big surprise!—it tends to elicit a strong response of hissing from the other party. This can spiral down rapidly.
The Israelis and the Palestinians are now locked in a tragic conflict where neither side is showing the least understanding of the concerns of the other. Consequently, the dispute is spiraling down rapidly and could possibly even pull the world down with it.
For that conflict to begin to resolve peacefully, must begin to show some private and public understanding of the concerns and issues of the other side. After a time delay, this will tend to strongly elicit a similar response from the other side.
Only then can this tragic dispute begin to spiral upward towards the light—towards peace and harmony among each other. The alternative—more finger pointing and attack—only leads to more death and destruction.
It is a fascinating phenomena that the world, towards us at least, tends to mirror our own behavior.
When we hiss, the world tends to hiss back—a gigantic mirror. When we criticise, condemn, attack, act self-righteously, etc. we tend to see that strongly coming back at us.
Conversely, when we begin to purr, when we begin to show some understanding and even appreciation of the other, that is the energy that tends to come back at us. Then the situation can spiral upward.
This general principle applies to anything whatsoever—to any dispute, to any situation, to any relationship of whatever nature, to any feeling or thought that shows up inside of us—to anything at all.
See for yourself.
—jim sloman, for 12/5/01
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