(This is Part 18 of a series. Go back to Part 17.)
Sometimes I'm tempted to say that all roads to freedom begin and end with observation of one's own mind, and this is one of those times. And in particular, those roads begin and end with observing the states of mind that we consider unpleasant.
Our unpleasant states of mind—anger, resentment, fear, sadness and so on—are the ones that most tend to keep us deeply asleep, because we either get stuck in them or we try to avoid them. Either way, we're strongly identified with them as "real" or "reality". But they're not; they're just productions of the mind.
A middle way is to veer neither to right nor left but to just stay there with one's own mind and observe it just as one would observe any other phenomenon in nature, such as a bird flying or a cloud passing.
This is especially valuable where thoughts and feelings of the "complaint complex" arise—resentment, fear, anger, irritation, hatred, jealousy and so on. When these feelings arise we tend to be stuck in habitual thought patterns that support them and feed them. Or we go to the opposite extreme and do everything we can to deny or avoid them.
Observation of the mind—called by various names in various traditions—means that one is now going to stay with oneself, to be steadfast with oneself. Instead of reinforcing and acting out these uncomfortable parts of ourselves—or running away from them—we decide to stay there with ourselves, and just stay there with those uncomfortable parts, witnessing them without buying-in.
And right there, right in the midst of our suffering, is the turn towards freedom. Any moment, and any situation, can be the means to go deeper asleep or to continue our awakening.
If we remain steadfast with that complaining, resentful part of ourselves, if we stay with those "hard" thoughts and feelings, we'll find that they eventually soften and underneath them we find a softer emotion, fear.
And if we stay with fear and the fearful thoughts, just observing them, staying into them, penetrating into them, we'll eventually uncover an even softer emotion, sadness.
And if we stay with sadness, and go deeply enough into it, we eventually uncover a wide blue, spacious sky that is untouched and unconditioned by the mental and emotional clouds happening within it.
That steadfastness with ourselves is a key thing. Instead of "running away" with our thoughts, there's a willingness to just stay there and be a friendly observer as the various tones go through our sky of consciousness. Ultimately, it's that willingness to be aware as we can, day after day, year after year, that makes all the difference.
(This is the end of Part 18. Go to Part 19.)
—jim sloman, 12.21.05
|
